Shape of Pain

“You are burning, run towards the pool”, my conscience told me with calmed voice, while I was shrouded by flames in the middle of a gas explosion on July the 13th, 2018. I almost died. 30% of my body surface had 2nd and 3rd degree burns. I was hospitalized for twenty three days. When I got out, I didn’t recognize myself in the mirror. I was ten kilograms thinner, hairless and full of scars, from head to toe. I was filled with emotions and tired of words. I held up my camera. Through self-portraits, I defied my self-imposed idea of common and beauty. I sought to represent the immense darkness I felt sunken in. I shouted from the silence of the image my sadness, madness, frustration and pain, physical and emotional. Supported in photography, I represented situations, spaces and statuses from my first months of recovery. I expressed the world of anguish and fear that lived inside me. Through photography, I rediscovered life after tragedy. My essay remains in progress because this journey isn’t over for me yet.