El camino de la ola

I delve into deep exploration of my inner life as a woman, wife and mother, letting the swinging contradictory feelings and emotions that arise again and again, cradle me. I fear the woman in me ends up either “closing the door and throwing the key away” as in Cortazar´s Casa Tomada, because the mother has taken it all, or devouring the mother in order to recover a space which she would then find out no longer exists. I unfold myself and observe the struggle between those two forces that cohabit, displacing, reproaching, questioning one another, continuously trying to shed into the other one´s skin. I find myself in a place where past, present and future intertwine, where the struggle is deemed useless. It does not matter who was first or who appeared later. It is an expanded land. There is no such thing as woman without mother, nor mother without woman. We are two. Yet, one.